Francesco (Clemente)

Francesco (Clemente)

Schizoid Personality Blog

creative blog of a schizoid personality

Music, movies, books, love, inspirations, designs and more

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

(Nie jestem) Perfect – (ale) Kochaj mnie

Byłem w Polska i zakochała się w swoim języku

Kołysanka Dla Nieznajomej
Nuna nej for (moje piękne) Stranger

Gdy nie bawi cię już świat zabawek mechanicznych,
When the world of mechanical toys doesn't amuse you anymore
Kiedy dręczy cię ból – niefizyczny;
When non-physical Ouch knocks knocks on your door
Zamiast słuchać bzdur głupich telefoniznyh wróżek zza siedmiu mórz,
Instead of listening to rubbish of stupid fortune-tellers from heck knows where
Spytaj siebie czego pragniesz; Dlaczgo kłamiesz, że miałaś wszystko?
Ask yourself what you want; why lie if you have (know) everything
Gdy udając że śpisz, w głowie tropisz bajki z gazet.
Pretending to sleep, you are tracing in your mind the cartoons from newspapers.
Kiedy nie chcesz już śnić cudzych marzeń,
When you don't want to dream other people's dreams
Boso i unikalny do mnie przyjdź i od progu bezwstydnie powiedz mi czego chcesz.
Come to me senza scarpe and tell me what you want right from the doorstep
Słuchaj jak dwa serca biją; co ludzie myślą, to nieistotne!
Listen to the two hearts beating, what others think is not so important at this moment.

Kochaj mnie! Kochaj mnie!
Love me boy
Kochaj mnie nieprzytomnie, jak zapalniczka płomień, jak sucha studnia wodę.
Love me (truly, not too) madly (deeply), love me like a lighter loves its flame, like a dry well loves water (dulce es)
Kochaj mnie namiętnie tak jakby świat się skończyć miał.
Love me passionately, as if the world is going to end.

Swoje miejsce znadź, i nie pytaj czy taki układ ma jakiś sens.
Find your place and don't ask me if this deal has any sense.
Słuchaj co twe ciało mówi; W miłosnej studni już nie utoniesz.
Listen to what your body says. In the well of love you won't drown (hmm).

Kochaj mnie! Kochaj mnie!
Love me
Kochaj mnie nieprzytomnie, jak księżyc w oknie śmiej się i płacz.
Love me madly, laugh and cry like the moon in the window.
Na linie nad przepaścią tańcz; aż w jedną, krótką chwilę,
Dance on the rope above the precipice
Pojmiesz po co żyjesz
Then you'll realize what you live for.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Schizoid Q & A Session

Q: What is behind the 'schizoid pokerface'?
A: I can only speak for myself here. I often hide annoyance and other negative emotions behind a neutral face. I never really get angry, however. I don't think that a person can effectively hide anger because of the physiological symptoms that accompany it (reddening of the face, for example).

Most of the time, however, a "pokerface" is not indicative of emotion. The schizoid is always thinking something, intellectualizing behind that blank mask. Private thoughts. You can always ask what he's thinking. Common answers are, "nothing", but if you do manage to squeeze some honest responses from him they are sure to be interesting. 

Q: Do you ever get lonely?
A: I used to get lonely. Not anymore. Ask anyone who has lived alone for years. I think the answer is usually: "You get used to it." The mind only attacks itself when it has nothing to occupy it with. My mind is always busy.

Q: What is a schizoid's love like?
A: Love is oxytocin - that dreamy chemical empathy that is released by MDMA or by the brain after orgasm while laying in bed beside a lover who is the object of infatuation. It's rare for a schizoid to feel such a thing.

You may receive loyalty and exclusive companionship from a schizoid, but to receive that other thing, that emotional bond, is very difficult. It is fleeting when it does occur.

Q: Have you ever been in love??
A: Yes, I've loved before.

One time, I was unaware of my own feelings and it wasn't until a few weeks after I pushed my girlfriend away that I began to feel a sense of longing for her. 

Q: What about distance?
A: Distance is crucial though the methods used to ensure it vary. I believe I'd be able to function in a relationship if I were only obligated to spend a couple of days or nights per week in contact with my other.

Q: What is love??
A: I am not sure if I actually understand love but I believe it's about being loved for being imperfect. If you have a special personality, however, it's very difficult to be not perfect... Being not perfect is a very shameful thing that needs to be avoided. 

But people with a special personality imagine love as something that's perfect and without flaws. It's like the object you love is an extension of you, and you just need to tell the girl your feelings and the girl will reciprocate. If she doesn't reciprocate like you imagined and in the moment you've taken the initiative, one would feel ashamed and might want to withdraw. There's not much empathy in situations like these. You just try it and if it doesn't work, you just remove the girl, like she has never existed. I think something like this goes on in every schizoid; sometimes it's more visible and sometimes it's not.
Q: Are schizoids jealous?
A: I think jealousy comes naturally with emotional attachment. If the schizoid has no desire of emotional commitment then it's doubtful that he'd feel jealous and vice-versa.

Q: Would it be possible for you to love without having sex?
A: A Platonic relationship would be the only sort of relationship I would pursue at this point in time.

Q: Are you very suspicious towards others?
A: Yes, actually. Trust is hard-earned and I would not even consider a sensual relationship without absolute confidence in the other.

Q: Do schizoids lie?
A: Most people lie and schizoids are no exception.

Schizoids differ. And sometimes there are more questions than answers.

....and then I heard Concrete Blonde wow