Francesco (Clemente)

Francesco (Clemente)

Schizoid Personality Blog

creative blog of a schizoid personality

Music, movies, books, love, inspirations, designs and more

Monday, December 06, 2010

Schizoid Q & A Session

Q: What is behind the 'schizoid pokerface'?
A: I can only speak for myself here. I often hide annoyance and other negative emotions behind a neutral face. I never really get angry, however. I don't think that a person can effectively hide anger because of the physiological symptoms that accompany it (reddening of the face, for example).

Most of the time, however, a "pokerface" is not indicative of emotion. The schizoid is always thinking something, intellectualizing behind that blank mask. Private thoughts. You can always ask what he's thinking. Common answers are, "nothing", but if you do manage to squeeze some honest responses from him they are sure to be interesting. 

Q: Do you ever get lonely?
A: I used to get lonely. Not anymore. Ask anyone who has lived alone for years. I think the answer is usually: "You get used to it." The mind only attacks itself when it has nothing to occupy it with. My mind is always busy.

Q: What is a schizoid's love like?
A: Love is oxytocin - that dreamy chemical empathy that is released by MDMA or by the brain after orgasm while laying in bed beside a lover who is the object of infatuation. It's rare for a schizoid to feel such a thing.

You may receive loyalty and exclusive companionship from a schizoid, but to receive that other thing, that emotional bond, is very difficult. It is fleeting when it does occur.

Q: Have you ever been in love??
A: Yes, I've loved before.

One time, I was unaware of my own feelings and it wasn't until a few weeks after I pushed my girlfriend away that I began to feel a sense of longing for her. 

Q: What about distance?
A: Distance is crucial though the methods used to ensure it vary. I believe I'd be able to function in a relationship if I were only obligated to spend a couple of days or nights per week in contact with my other.

Q: What is love??
A: I am not sure if I actually understand love but I believe it's about being loved for being imperfect. If you have a special personality, however, it's very difficult to be not perfect... Being not perfect is a very shameful thing that needs to be avoided. 

But people with a special personality imagine love as something that's perfect and without flaws. It's like the object you love is an extension of you, and you just need to tell the girl your feelings and the girl will reciprocate. If she doesn't reciprocate like you imagined and in the moment you've taken the initiative, one would feel ashamed and might want to withdraw. There's not much empathy in situations like these. You just try it and if it doesn't work, you just remove the girl, like she has never existed. I think something like this goes on in every schizoid; sometimes it's more visible and sometimes it's not.
Q: Are schizoids jealous?
A: I think jealousy comes naturally with emotional attachment. If the schizoid has no desire of emotional commitment then it's doubtful that he'd feel jealous and vice-versa.

Q: Would it be possible for you to love without having sex?
A: A Platonic relationship would be the only sort of relationship I would pursue at this point in time.

Q: Are you very suspicious towards others?
A: Yes, actually. Trust is hard-earned and I would not even consider a sensual relationship without absolute confidence in the other.

Q: Do schizoids lie?
A: Most people lie and schizoids are no exception.

Schizoids differ. And sometimes there are more questions than answers.

....and then I heard Concrete Blonde wow

1 comment:

  1. As to hiding behind a mask, I've got to say, adapting a fictional character from the written form into TV format has been tricky, given how the inner thoughts and fantasy life are lost - without a voiceover, at least.

    I remember myself being floored that this character felt THAT deeply, as his external personality NEVER showed it. Strangely enough, it's the only way I've really come to understand my writing partner. We have an unusual relationship, both being schizoids. My husband, (yes, I am married) claims that it's actually my 'preferred' relationship because 'of the required distance between us'. I like to think I've come a long way from how I used to be (an emotional zombie which affected my parents SO deeply, it's like something shook loose, or snapped, and I realised so much.)

    For me, (I say I'm 'recovering', heh) it's part of self-work. I'm better than I was, but nowhere near, y'know, 'normal'. My husband's easily distracted, but my ideal situation is hanging out together doing entirely separate things; periodically, checking in. But he always gets tired of that and pushes me to interact, and then I just retreat into myself. I'm a work-in-progress.

    My partner, on the other hand ... we play a lot of emotional chicken. Neither wants to be the one putting it out there. Ever. So ... it just depends on where we're at for the moment. I think he calls because he genuinely enjoys our conversations, (they CAN go for HOURS - isn't that weird? And that's not unusual, either. When I DO answer, we'll be on hour quite some time) but at the same time, we have to avoid emotionally-charged topics. Every time I get irritated that he's avoiding a subject, I have to remind myself, (or he will, too) that I do just as often. And he's right. I do.

    So ... what was the point of that? Who knows. Maybe just a little window into two schizoid writers out in Hollywood whose main character is also a schizoid. Crazy stuff, yo.